By Zile Singh                   

                “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

We are social creatures.  We communicate with each other regularly on a daily basis. Not only that, but we share our life experiences, whether good or bad with others.  For that, we need someone whom we can trust and be open and comfortable with.  Nobody wants to be a laughingstock by telling someone his/her personal habits and ideas unless one has complete faith in another. About choosing a friend it is famous, “Go down the ladder when you are finding a marriage partner; go up when you choose a friend.”

Friendship is an intimate relationship between two individuals. Friendship is one of the greatest bonds one can wish for. Though, childhood friendship is known to be the best and everlasting, if a man does not make new friends as he advances in life, he will soon find himself alone and in despair.  This is because today man is mobile with respect to his profession and also there are more avenues to shift places in search of greener pastures of livelihood.  Man cannot lead a static life.  Good friends are always supportive and encouraging of one another. They should be able to share anything with each other without the fear of being judged and mocked at.  Famous philosopher Euripides once said, “Friends show their love not only in times of happiness but equally in times of troubles.”

So what really makes a good friend?  Friendship is based on the simple rules of trust and honesty.  He or she stands with you in adverse circumstances to give you a shoulder and listen to your problems and gives you a good piece of advice.  A good friend is never envious of your achievements.  He is always with you in times of need and makes you smile and lift you up when you are down and  unable to lift yourself.  It takes a lot of time and guts to find a good friend. There are many people who can easily deceive others in order to advance their own self-interest.  Such friends leave a friend in a lurch.  Friendship should be forever, no matters what.  True friends try to avoid conflicts and do everything possible to strengthen the bond of  friendship.  There have been occasions when friends have sacrificed a lot to keep the friendship alive.  Friendship is getting happy together, crying together and even getting mad together. It takes time for a friendship to flourish.  “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”- Dale Carnegie 

It is difficult to find a good friend. A lasting friendship is a blessing for both. A true friend is one of the most precious possessions that one can have in his/her life.  In Hindu mythology, there are several examples of friendship like Krishna and Sudama; Krishna and Arjun; Karan and Duryodhan; Trijata and Sita. Trijata took care of Sita in Ashok Vatika of Ravana. The friendship of Krishna and Sudama crosses all boundaries of caste, creed, or social status. Despite a huge socio-economic division that divided the society at that time Krishna, as a king, never forgot his childhood friend poor Sudama.  The intimacy of Emperor Akbar, a Muslim and Birbal, one of his Ministers, a Hindu are good examples of friendship and trust.

In Islam, friendship is important to the extent that members of the Muslim community refer to themselves as brothers and sisters. It endorses the brotherhood of mankind.  Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him),  said, “Man is influenced by the faith of his friends.  Therefore, be careful of whom you befriend.”

About friend, Jesus said, “One who forgives an affront fosters friendship, but one who dwells on disputes will alienate a friend.” The message: Be kind and forgiving and you will have many devoted friends; hold grudges and you will lose them. 

Guru Nanak, the first Guru of Sikhs said, “Do not seek friendship with those who are selfish. A person is the product of his or her environment.  False is friendship with the false and greedy. False is its foundation.”

Friendship plays a great role in the field of diplomacy also.  A “World Friendship Crusade” was founded in 1958 by the United Nations. It was in synch with the “Woodrow Wilson’s Fourteen Point” agenda, a statement of ‘peace principles’ advocated by him in 1918 to the US Congress.  In 2011, The United Nations General Assembly proclaimed July 30 every year as the “International Day of Friendship.”  In the Indian context, the Indo-Nepal Treaty of Friendship of 1950; the Indo-Soviet Treaty of Peace, Friendship and Cooperation, 1971, and Panchsheel, or Five Principles of Peaceful Coexistence, 1954 with China are good examples.  With the passage of time, things have changed a lot. However, if a friend is disloyal then it is said, “God defend me from my friends; from my enemies, I can defend myself.  

A false friend and a shadow are there only while the sun shines. Therefore, before you make a friend eat a bushel of salt with him. Spend enough time with him before becoming a friend. 

It is good to have some friends both in heaven and hell.

 About old friends, “Old friends, old wine and old gold are the best.

Friendship transcends religion, race, caste, creed, nationality and gender. 

Zile Singh is a well respected Columnist, Writer and a Vipassana Meditater. He has a Post-Graduate Diploma in Human Rights.  He can be reached at zsnirwal@yahoo.ca